Question:

I received an e-mail from my friend Frank telling me that the new pictures I had sent him had been posted on my website. He pointed out how slowly the pictures downloaded on the screen with his dial-up service and asked me to let him know how quickly the pictures downloaded on my computer. I reported that, to my pleasant surprise, the pictures came up instantly. (He knew that I had recently switched to DSL.) I suggested that he consider switching. His reply was that he chose not to so that he could be sensitive to those viewers who still accessed the internet via dial-up service.

Answer:

Thank you for your reply, even though I read the answer to my knee and other discomfort problem, I went into the kitchen and cried while I fixed breakfast. I felt that what you were talking about was so complicated that I couldn't understand it or even know how to take care of it. I would love to remove the disguise if I only knew how. I have written down the principles for, the feeling, forgiveness, and mirror exercises. I have practiced opening my heart, loving my self, being non-judgmental and looking at all I meet as perfect. But, when I practice the feeling exercise and search for those feelings, there are none there. I cannot bring anything up, no vibrations, no feelings. I understood the process was to think about the feelings with my knee with out any judgment, open my heart and love those feelings, then love myself - (shortened version).

This discomfort after three years is wearing me down, and I am at my wits end - I want so badly to get better. I guess I want it so bad that I can't have it because I want it so bad.

I have read both books, although when I did read them I felt like the answers were hiding some place between the lines, or always just out of my reach. I know that what you say is true, it is just trying to find those feelings.

Please don't take my comments as hard, I guess I am just angry at myself for not understanding what I need to do to rid myself of this problem and angry at you for not making it easier for me!! Now I need to go do my forgiveness routine.

I did understand the part about my husband's daughter-in-law - that it all had to do with me! I realize that now after reading both books. (My face is red.)