Question:

You have helped me tremendously with my mother. Your words are so soothing. When I read them, I feel a release in my body. And then the feeling of release keeps reverberating -- like a sound wave -- with a soothing, all knowing feeling, with expansiveness and awareness.

My mother calls way too often. I told her not to call me anymore, that I'll call her. She asked when I am going to call her. I said next week. She asked what day? I told her I didn't know what day, but I would call her.

Each time I call, she calls again a few days later. Sometimes she'll call twice during the week & again over the weekend. Then she told me to call her every day. Once she got mad at me, hung up on me & didn't call for 3 months. Yipppppeeeee!

She leaves messages where she's crying over the phone, saying that she can't stand it anymore; that I am to call her as soon as I get home.

She said that I should let her know when I go out of town. I said no. She asked for my neighbor's phone number so she can call my neighbor when I'm not home and have my neighbor check up on me to see if I'm at home or not, and to then call her back to let her know. I said no.

She also leaves angry, demanding messages saying that she can't stand it anymore. That she worries about me every day, not knowing how I'm doing, if I'm sick or if something is wrong. And I always tell her that I'm fine, that I'm happy, and that everything in my life is splendid.

One night when I got home after being at a friend's wedding, the phone was ringing as I walked into the house. It was my mother. I asked her what was wrong? She said nothing. I asked why she was calling so late. She said she had been calling all day; that she began to worry because I wasn't home when she called. I asked her, "Can't I live my own life? Can't I go to a friend's wedding?" I asked why she didn't wait until the next morning and then call. She said she wanted to talk to me now.

One day she called 5 times. I was out of town that week. She called a total of 18 times. She doesn't call and harass my younger sister & brother -- just me.

She realizes she can't manipulate me anymore, and now, she's using every method that she can think of to try to manipulate and control me again. I no longer panic when she calls. And I no longer spiral into a depression. I no longer feel terrorized by her. I'm beginning to feel emotionally detached from her. And I'm not threatened nor intimidated by her anymore. More and more, I'm beginning to feel like an observer about this situation.

I no longer feel obligated to make her happy. The more you do for her, the more demanding she becomes. I don't feel guilty about living my life instead of living my life the way she wants me to. Pleasing her is no longer an option. And the release and sense of freedom is so wonderful!

Thank you for always being there for me and for always helping me. You are a remarkable, sharing, caring person.

 

Answer:

Part I: Take a few deep breaths. Are you willing to open your heart to your Self? Open it wide. Feel deep love for your Self. The Self you are opening to includes your mother.

Your perception is that you and she are separate. However, all that you see is you. When you are uncomfortable with what you see, as is the case with your mother, you are not seeing clearly. You are seeing through eyes that are covered with veils of judgments that you created.

You placed the veils over your eyes intentionally. You have chosen to create the precise relationship with your mother that you are experiencing -- no mistakes, no accidents.

Are you willing to accept your creation? Are you willing to appreciate your creation? Are you willing to love, unconditionally, your creation?

All that you create is you! And you are the magnificent God Presence.

Take your time to feel deep unconditional love for you and the mother that you created. Particularly, embrace all aspects of her that you find annoying and unacceptable. You created all these aspects. If you judge them as unacceptable, you are finding fault with your own creation. You are treating yourself as an inadequate, not too smart creator. This is not only untrue, it is demeaning and disempowering. All your creations are wonderful and purposeful. You are wonderful and purposeful in all your creations.

Embrace your mother and yourself in deep unconditional love and appreciation. Feel the power you vested in keeping her separate from you as now back with you.

Part II: You created your mother to give you perfect reflections of the state of your consciousness. She is a gift you have given to yourself. When you see her as manipulating and demanding, that is how you see yourself.

This does not mean you are really manipulating and demanding, any more than it means your mother really is. You, the God Presence, made this up to hide your power. If you didn't hide all that power you could not remain in the human. And the brilliance of the way you hid your power is evidenced by the choice to use the very beliefs you find so distasteful and uncomfortable as hiding places. This insures that you stay away from the hiding places, thus allowing you to continue with your human journey.

There comes a time when our Infinite Intelligence guides us to awaken to who we really are. We then begin the process of remembering where we hid our power and then reclaiming the power. Opening to the fullness of that power does not mean that we can no longer stay in the human experience. It means we are ready to be in the human in full awareness of how powerful we are, and enjoy experiencing and expressing that power as human beings.

Are you ready to open your awareness to the powerful being you really are? If you are, I suggest that you read THE JOURNEY for a more detailed account of the process involved in that opening.

The human experience is a marvelous game we concocted with the support of our Infinite Intelligence. The game is intended to be fun. When it isn't, we are not seeing clearly. When we are ready, our Infinite Intelligence guides us in expanding our awareness. That is when the game becomes fun.